That letter makes me so ANGRY…not that Zeller never spoke up, but that his family allowed things to get that bad for him. He felt himself unworthy of help, unfixable, possibly because his family didn’t care enough. He was such a hurt and broken soul, and while I cannot fault him for taking his own life, I wish he’d sought other options. It’s possible he could have had help for it had he just opened up about the issue instead of burying it deep. Burying things like that just causes them to fester and prevents any possibility for healing.
I’m not afraid of losing someone I created as that possibility exists on a daily basis. I’m afraid of that someone being subjected to molestation, abuse, and the kind of pain that cannot be fixed with a band-aid and a cookie. There’s no way I would be able to be there 24/7 – a child would have to go to school/friends’ houses/the library/elsewhere on a regular basis, and I would have no control over what happens in those locations.
I know that C would like a child, and while I have never wanted children I would be willing to have a child with him…but I’m so very terrified of the risks. It seems like we can’t trust ANYONE with our children.
Parents, how have you dealt with these fears? Have they simply never occurred to you or did you want children so badly you were willing to face those risks without fear?